This is one of the longer emails I’ve sent.

But if life has felt even slightly out of sync lately… keep reading.

There’s something here that might help you shift.

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There was a time in my life when everything looked right on paper.

I had the accomplishments and degrees.
I was growing a business and leading teams.
I was in a committed relationship that was headed towards kids.
I was doing the personal development work, reading the books, showing up.

But something still felt off.

There was this quiet tension running underneath it all.
A kind of low-grade dissatisfaction I couldn’t name—but couldn’t shake.

And like most high achievers, I told myself I just needed to figure it out.
Maybe I hadn’t read the right book yet.
Maybe I hadn’t hit the next level of discipline.
Maybe I just needed to double down and push through.

But the more I “pushed through,” the more misaligned I felt.

Eventually, I realized what was happening.

But I didn’t get there alone.

It took receiving coaching from someone further along in their own self-mastery, someone who could reflect back what I couldn’t yet see.

It took letting myself be held accountable—to surrender to real feedback, not just surface-level insights.

It took measuring myself, so I could clearly see when I was out of alignment—not emotionally, but objectively—and then making the conscious choice to course-correct.

That process—coaching, support, guidance, feedback, and accountability—was the catalyst.
It forced me to get honest.
It helped me see the difference between knowing my values and actually living them.

And that’s when things started to change.

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If life feels off, this is often why...

You’ve outgrown the version of yourself that built the life you’re currently living.
​And the new version of you—the one you can feel trying to emerge—is asking for something deeper.

Here’s something I’ve found that helps re-align fast. It’s a four-step framework I use with my clients (and myself):

1. Recognize Your Values Are Clues

Your values aren’t buzzwords. They’re truth signals.
They point directly to what you actually care about—whether it’s freedom, presence, integrity, health, leadership, or love.

And when your values aren’t being honored consistently, your soul knows it. That’s why you feel that “off” feeling—even when everything looks fine.

2. Name What Actually Matters

Most people skip this part or keep it surface-level.
But you can’t live in alignment if you’re unclear on your inner compass and where it's directing you.
Ask yourself: What values do I want my spouse/kids/employees to see embodied in me?
What qualities make me feel alive when I’m operating from them?

3. Define What Activation Looks Like

Knowing your values isn’t enough.
You have to be clear on what it looks like to live them.

If “Freedom” is a value, what are 3 ways you can express that this week?
If “Presence” is a value, how would your evening look differently if you embodied it?

Clarity = power.

4. Start Living It—Today, Not Tomorrow

This is the one that changes everything.
Start living your values before you feel ready.
​Before you’ve perfected your schedule.
Before everything else is figured out.

It’s not about doing it flawlessly. It’s about doing it consciously and consistently. And it's about showing up for yourself with the same follow through that you show up for others with!

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You’ll be amazed how quickly fulfillment follows when your actions match your values.

That’s what alignment feels like.
That’s what brings the peace, clarity, and sense of self that so many are chasing—but can’t find through productivity or performance.

It took me a long time (and a lot of stubbornness) to figure that out.
And even longer to consistently live it.

But once I did, everything changed—from my marriage, to my leadership, to how I showed up for my kids.

Here for you,
Matthew Bivens

P.S. One more thing...

This kind of work—identifying values, activating them, and actually integrating them into your real life—is the type of thing we focus on in my private 90-day experience. If you’re curious and want to learn more, just reply with the word CURIOUS and I’ll send you the details.

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